6/17/2016

Fit by 40 - Throwing it Way Back


I've been thinking about how and when and what I would say about my weight loss journey here for a few weeks, probably months. My goal was to reach a certain number on the scale by my 40th birthday, which has now come and gone, and then to sort of journal the journey here. Honestly, I don't think I ever wanted to say out loud to the world that I had a real goal because I've had that real goal for at least 3 years now! That's how old Harper is, so that's how long I've wanted to hit that number. It's been a LONG journey! On some piece of paper, I did write my goal or motto or whatever was FIT BY 40, a milestone birthday provided a little more motivation than some other nebulous number! And the term Fit is relative and loosely applied. Fit and Forty both start with F, so it works! If you're wondering, I did hit that number by my 40th birthday. Boom! More about that later.

But tonight, I was lying in bed thinking about my whole life as a chubby person. I had to keep from audibly snickering at some of the memories that crossed my mind as I thought about when this whole struggle with food and weight began. Bear with me as I go back 30 something years to when I was a wee one! There will be rabbit trails and hopefully these little snippets will be as humorous in writing as they are in my mind at almost 1am.

I entered this world weighing in at over 9lbs. I was a big girl! I must've popped out of the womb ready to eat and obsessed with food. I obviously don't remember much about those first years of life, but what I do remember centers on food. My dad was in the Air Force way back when and we were stationed at Lackland AFB in San Antonio, TX. Here's what I remember about San Antonio - Dunkin' Donuts and theater food and possibly Pancho's Mexican Buffet! Pancho's was part of life for many years, but I'm not sure if it started in San Antonio or near my aunt's in Houston. (We are going to make a special trip through Dallas-Fort Worth in a few weeks so that Jake can experience Pancho's.) I do also remember that there was a little boy named Johnny T who fell and busted his head open while we lived in San Antonio. Random, I know.

My parents both worked for a movie theater in San Antonio - The Westwood Cinema. I have a few vivid memories of movies I watched at the Westwood - Roller Boogie, Caddyshack and at least one of the Rocky movies. I must've seen a John Travolta movie there, too, because I remember my dad winning me a big teddy bear at some fair. I went to his Air Force building with him once and took the bear with me. I remember telling one of his co-workers that the bear's name was John Travolta! So Pathetic!! I was also deathly afraid of Spider-man! Johnny T, prior to busting his head open, and I barricaded ourselves into a bedroom once when Spidey showed up at my brother's birthday party. Turns out it was probably the same guy I introduced my bear, John Travolta, to at my dad's workplace!

 (I used to have this poster hanging on my wall!)

Back to the point...while watching movies, you eat, right? Candy, popcorn, sugary soda and hot dogs!

We left San Antonio shortly before my 5th birthday and moved north to Chip and Joanna Gaines-ville, better known as Waco, TX, where they managed a movie theater, the Ivy Twin Cinema, which was owned by the same company that owned the Westwood. Spending countless hours at a movie theater as a child was a fantastic way to live. My mom jokes often that I learned to count money and give change when I was about 5 or 6 by working concessions at the theater. I was very proficient at taking  inventory of all of the candy in the stockroom. By taking inventory, I mean writing down what came in and what went out..hmm...hmm.. Let me just say that my favorite candy of all time, still to this day, is Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. However, they don't last very long if you just take bites out of the whole cup. They also melt in your hands, unlike M&M's,  when eaten slowly. To make my Reese's last longer while watching movies all day, I would break my two Reese's Cups into pieces and put the pieces into a drink cup, so that it would last me longer than the opening credits of a movie. My favorite drink in those days was Dr. Pepper - real, Dr. Pepper - with no ice! (Did you know that Waco, TX is the birthplace of Dr. Pepper?) To this day, I still enjoy a lukewarm soda. Jake thinks I'm crazy! However, I can't even remember the last time I had a real Dr. Pepper!

The Ivy, as we called it, was located across the street from Baylor's campus, in a strip mall with a Baskin Robbins and a 7-11 and various other businesses. You can tell where this is heading, right? After a few hours of working the ticket window or watching some totally inappropriate movie for a kid my age, I would walk 3 doors down to see my friends (truly we were friends) at Baskin Robbins. The youngest me would always get a clown cone. The older me recognized the deliciousness of Gold Medal Ribbon and World Class Chocolate. On a generous night, when I had a wad of cash, I'd get a 2 scoop hot fudge sundae. I couldn't have been more than 8 years old or so at this point. Oink, Oink! Other nights my brother and I would walk to the end of the shopping center, around a couple of dark spooky turns, to the 7-11 and get massive slurpees. (There was a game room right next door to the Ivy and we were friends with the people who worked there, too. Endless game credits. I knew how to open the games up and add credits myself. Endless game credits were great for my brother who now is a video game designer.)

Because of the crazy hours a movie theater is open and probably my dad's full time job away from the theater, I honestly don't remember my mom cooking at home often. (Sorry, mom!) What I do remember is the circuit of restaurants we frequented - - Sonic, Dairy Queen, Lone Star Tavern (not the Lone Star Steakhouse), Miller Family Steakhouse (no longer exists), Red Lobster, La Fiesta (where I learned to love queso), Bonanza, Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken (We knew the owner of Jim's fairly well and often traded buckets of chicken for movie passes. No joke!), Schlotzky's (before it became a big franchise), Tanglewood Farms and Poppa Rollo's Pizza. There was actually another pizza place we got pizza from all the time, but I can't remember the name of it. Pizza Planet, maybe? Canadian bacon and mushroom is still my favorite pizza! Seriously, when did my mother ever use her cool grill top stove and built in oven and microwave? We weren't eating grilled chicken or broiled fish or salads with lite ranch dressing at these joints! Think footlong chili cheese coney's, chicken fried steak with french fries or a big buttery baked potato, fried shrimp, juicy fried chicken, greasy pizza topped with every piece of meat available, etc. You get the picture. Calories didn't exist in my world then!

There were also the countless fast food meals from Jack in the Box, Wendy's, McDonald's, Long John Silvers (extra crunchies, please!), and Taco Bueno. These were all in close proximity to the theater. Jack in the Box was closest so we'd (my brother and I and whatever friends tagged along that day) walk under the I-35 and University Parks Dr. overpass to get some food and venture back to the theater. All this walking down memory lane makes me think my parents were the poster parents for free range parenting!

As I was thinking about this extensive list - I'm sure I could come up with more - I thought about what my brother called a salad. Back then, I get older by the minute, the salad bar came with whatever meal we ordered at most of these places, except the one place kid meals didn't get a salad because the price of lettuce was apparently astronomical.  Anyway.. when our salads were included and it was fix your own at the salad bar, my brother would get his salad bowl and fill it with chocolate pudding. He'd cover the pudding in bacon bits and croutons and call it a salad. I mostly remember this concoction happening at Bonanza because I can see it in that little brown wooden bowl.

Back to the theater childhood and inappropriate movies, and food, of course - - - On Friday and Saturday nights, we were the only place in town that did midnight showings of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. If you know nothing of Rocky Horror, move along because this won't make any sense! I knew every audience participation line, bad words and all. I knew every time something was supposed to be thrown or sprayed. I knew how to do the Time Warp - "Let's do the time warp again!" I am pretty sure I used the words Sperm Perm in a sentence to my parents in the car once. I'm sure they laughed their butts off when I was out of sight! (Remember, I was less than 10 years old)


On the frequent nights that I ended up staying with my mom at the theater for the midnight show, after all the college students and Rocky Horror groupies had left we'd have to clean the theater so it would be ready for whatever movie started first the next morning. By cleaning, I basically mean taking a yard blower and blowing trash (pieces of toast, rice, rolls of toilet paper, newspapers, etc.) from the back of the theater to the front and sweeping it into great big trash cans and then mopping between all the aisles of seats. (And my kids complain about swiffering a 10x10 foyer!) When the cleaning was over, we'd often load up and meet at I-Hop for a very early morning snack. Think hot chocolate and silver dollar pancakes at 3 or 4 in the morning. Glad Facebook wasn't around back then because I'm sure my parents would've been shamed for allowing their two young-ish kids, and maybe a friend or two, to be at I-Hop at 4 in the morning - let alone the barrage of inappropriate we had already witnessed!

On those rare occasions when I was home or after my mom moved on from the movie theater gig, probably late elementary aged or early middle school, I had some other food obsessions! I loved mac and cheese, but ONLY Kraft Mac and Cheese. No store brands. No Velveeta - only the blue box! One of my brother's friends found out one afternoon just how passionate I was about my mac and cheese when he decided to fix himself a box while he waited at our house for his mom to get off work. Don't mess with my blue box!  One of my kids will only eat Kraft mac and cheese if the noodles are something other than elbow noodles - sponge bob, star wars, ninja turtles. She says it tastes different! (insert eye roll)

Our house was about a mile or so from a convenience store that sold pints of Blue Bell for 99 cents. It was less than a mile if I climbed over the privacy fence and walked between the trailers on the street behind our house. That wasn't very convenient if I was on a bike, though. Back to Blue Bell...Several times a week, I would venture into the convenience store, dig through the Blue Bell freezer for a pint of Tin Roof Sundae, pay the clerk my $1 and be on my merry way. Often my pint would only last one sitting, but some times if I was unknowingly being frugal or practicing self control, I'd save some for later. Blue Bell truly was the best ice cream in the country back then! Moo!

As I was thinking about the absurdity of some of these memories, I thought about what I often took as a sack lunch for field trips. You know, those mornings when your mother wakes up and remembers you are required to take only items in your lunch bag that can be thrown away? As a mother I forget these things frequently and have resorted to always making the kids buy the school's sack lunch! I digress...Thank the Lord for that convenience store! Not only did it sell pints of Blue Bell, it also sold beef sticks/jerky, Grandma's chocolate brownie cookies, chips and soda! (Remember wrapping a can of soda in a paper towel and tin foil to keep it cold?) Michelle Obama would've put the beat down on my mother for the very healthy lunches I took on field trips! My mom also used to pack small containers of Nestle Nesquik powder for us so we didn't have to drink plain milk at school, obviously back before elementary aged kids have 10 different drink choices with their school lunches!

It really is amazing that I didn't weigh 250 pounds by my freshman year of high school. Thankfully, before my senior year of high school, my mom and I set sail on the low-fat ship and helped me undo a little of the damage all those pints of Blue Bell and plates of chicken fried steak had done to my chubby body!

Stay tuned for the next installment of Fit by 40....




6/15/2016

Summer Mail - Week #3

We have managed to reach week #3 of our Summer Mail system and it's still going strong. I think the kids are enjoying having their little checklists each day and I hear them throughout the day saying they have X number of chores left or planning when they're going to do what's left on their list. One day Maverick was getting a little anxious about finishing his list because he had been at a friend's house playing all afternoon and had a swim meet that evening. I'd say those little slips are somewhat motivating!

It's all about time management! And that's probably one of the hardest parts of this system for them to deal with... The first week, they would wake up before 7:30 and by 8:30 had attempted to complete every task on their list. Ummm. That sort of defeats the purpose of the system! Some of their jobs, like unloading the dishwasher, wiping the counters and sweeping the kitchen floor are all meant to be done at the end of the day, not at 8am! There were also some morning the first week that I had 85 requests for a printed color sheet or a new math sheet or whatever before the Keurig had a chance to brew my first cup of coffee. That first week was rough with lots of slow down's, it can wait's and mom's not ready for you to do that's!

They've settled in by now and aren't in such a rush to get it all checked off. Now their biggest struggle is keeping up with their little checklist sheet. Oceans of tears have been shed as panicked children have searched the house high and low for their checklists at the end of the day. Hence today's sign! 


These are their 'relatively' clean boxes. You can that one child didn't read today's sign and follow instructions...


Harper has been the happy recipient of quality time from her brothers and sister as a result of this little system. I can't tell who has more fun playing together - her or them! Some days they build magna tile trains and crash them into the walls. Yesterday they decided to bury each other in piles of stuffed animals. That's only fun until your mother tells you to clean it up! I am getting cheated a little with this system because often two kids do their 30 minutes together. Instead of a full hour of Harper being entertained, I only get 30 minutes.  Oh well. I'll take what I can get. 


Hearing the big kids happily, well sometimes happily, playing together gives this mama some hope that these kids might enjoy each other as they get older. There are lots of know it all's and ultra competitive people who live in this house so the smack talk is through the roof most days. I can't imagine where they picked up these traits! When this bunch sits down to play a game, at least one child is a victim to 'cheating' or some other unfair set of rules. Other days, it's a peaceful endeavor. The fact that they have to communicate with each other about whether or not they have played their game for the day is huge! Lots of life lessons secretly lurk in this little summer mail experiment. Cue evil laugh!

So there we are!  Over two weeks in and still going somewhat strong! 
How's summer going at your houses?

6/03/2016

Baby Pool Prison

Jokingly, well sort of jokingly, I refer to the baby pool at our neighborhood pool complex as baby pool prison. It's a small pool surrounded by a black fence enclosure to keep in all the little criminals, I mean sweet little toddler people and their often oblivious parents. I've been a mom for over 11 years now so I've spent my fair share of time trapped behind the gates. The day this final little Wade graduates to the big pool where she can swim freely by herself will be a happy day and pool life will once again be glorious, and sort of relaxing. I may even buy a round of ice cream for all my mommy friends in celebration! Until then, I feel as if I have been given the task of being the top ranking prison guard for not only my own child, but every other kid who steps foot inside the gate. Goodness!

I get it. We parents want to come to the pool and have our kids entertain themselves without our needing to be involved. We want to sit in a lounge chair, beverage in hand, reading a non-sense magazine or book or get the latest gossip from a friend via a real phone call. Trust me. I long for that. I'm jealous for that. I can see the other moms on the other side of the gate that are enjoying all of that, and conversing with real live adults while their kids frolic and play. Unfortunately, if your child is under the age of say 5 and hasn't mastered swimming in the big pool all alone, with confidence, your task is to watch over your child. Period. You are their personal prison guard. Embrace it!

We should all agree on some ground rules, ok?

First - Kids in this age bracket aren't naturally bent to share. Our job is to teach them to share. However, let's agree that in the baby pool there will be a warming up process before our little bit will be comfortable sharing with the strange kid who is hovering behind them, slowly easing their hands onto our little bit's toys. If you want to have a happy time at the pool - that's what I want for you - then you'll not be mad when I don't force my little H to hand over her tea cups immediately. She'll warm up, but you've gotta give her time or else I'm going to spend the entire time I'm at the pool listening to her scream and cry over a tea cup, and so will you! Your job is to help your child understand this dynamic. And if your mean girl kids say "We don't like you!" to my child who just wants to join in the tea pot pouring party with her own tea cups, don't expect me to encourage her to play. (This happened today and my response was probably very wrong, but if these little girls would say this to a 3 year old, what else would they say to her and why should she have to be subjected to that. Oh and these same little girls didn't mind taking one of her tea cups to play with when she went to the potty a few minutes later.)

Second - Let's help our kids understand personal space. Hovering children are super annoying. Parents of hovering children who are clueless and never attempt to help their precious baby to back away or give a little space - YOU are annoying, too! Your acknowledgement of the situation goes a long way. Your lack of acknowledgement is infuriating!

Third - Toys that spray, squirt, anything that can possibly get another child, unsuspecting adult, or personal property wet should not be brought to the baby pool and placed in the hands of the 5 and under crowd. If while you're reading your book in the corner, while your child is armed and dangerous and I get sprayed or my child gets sprayed, I will correct your child. I ain't skeered! These little people don't understand personal space, let alone have the mental capacity to understand that not everyone at the pool wants to be wet. Remember, you're holding a paper book in your hand.

Fourth - Your grown kids, say older than 5, do not belong in the baby pool. Mine have all been instructed that they are allowed to sit on the edge, but aren't to be in the pool unless I have given specific permission. They're too big and often in the 10 minutes during a rest break, kids who don't even have a sibling in the baby pool take it over. Just don't! Just tell them no! They aren't babies any more, even though many still act like they are. Large, awkward bodies mixed in a tiny area with small, awkward bodies is a recipe for disaster.

Fifth - Just because your kid is wearing swim wings or a life jacket in the baby pool, doesn't mean that the less than 2 feet of water in the baby pool isn't dangerous. They can fall over face first in the water and not know how to get back up in no time flat! They need your supervision and my supervision. It's a team sport. It's a village of mamas looking out for their own and the others around them, but don't depend solely on the village. As we all know, most villages have an idiot!

Young mamas, one day the pool will be fun for you. Just glance through the black wrought iron fence at all those mamas who don't even wear bathing suits to the pool or those mamas who put on their bikini, crank open the umbrella and sprawl out on a lounge chair with the latest New York Times best seller. One day you'll get there. One day I'll get there. It seems like an eternity away, but it will happen! I'll write another post for you then about your big kids who spray me with water guns or who block the walkway playing baseball and have to retrieve their stray ball from the baby pool. Regardless, your baby will one day be released from baby pool prison. They'll be free and so will you.

Until then, keep your head up and watch your kid! Embrace your role as a fellow prison guard!

5/31/2016

Summer Mail

Here we are again. The first official day of summer at our house. I say official because truly it's the first day that I am home alone with the kids from 7:30am until 5:30pm or so. Cpt Wade was off on Friday and Monday for the 4 day so when he put on his uniform and walked out the door this morning, my summer officially began! Dear Jesus, give me strength!

A few weeks ago I took a trip to SC for my sister-in-law's baby shower. It's probably just me, but when I go visit a city that has a store or two that I don't have here, I make it a priority to visit those particular stores. For me, in SC, it's World Market and Trader Joe's. Neither of which is technically in SC. I also planned in a stop at Ikea in Atlanta and toured more of Georgia Tech in my attempt to get to Ikea and to find a Starbucks than I really ever needed to see. (Please dear children do not attend school in Atlanta! I will not come visit you!)

On my little venture to World Market, I bought this cute little metal mail box and had an epiphany of sorts. This cute little mail box would become the focus of my attempts to keep it together this summer. Let's be real. Summers are hard! I know there are mothers who look forward to summer and having all this time with their kids at home with them. Newsflash, I'm not one of those mothers! I love these little people that the Lord gave me and they bring a lot of joy to my life, but as a matter of fact, I pretty much suck at being a good summer mom! One of the major reasons I suck at being a good summer mom is that I am an introvert to the core. That's not an excuse. Believe me, I can put on my social, fun, outgoing face when I need to, but I much prefer to be in a quiet place, alone. These 4 kids of mine all have big personalities and big opinions, and I do mean BIG! They can be emotionally and mentally exhausting - and any introverted mother who tells you otherwise probably isn't telling the truth.

Back to the cute little mail box...

 Every morning, except Sundays, the kids will get "Summer Mail." 

Their summer mail will consist of a checklist of activities and chores that they must complete each day. If I'm on my A-game, they'll get some other little surprises depending on what we have planned or going on each day. By surprises, I mean gift cards to restaurants we may go to that day, little pieces of chocolate, a note telling them we're going somewhere special, or just a note telling them that they ARE special, etc. I'm also going to encourage them to use the mail box to write kind words to each other.

My thought and hope is that they will look forward to opening the mail box each morning to see what's inside. I never know with this crowd what is going to speak to their hearts and what is going to make them cringe!

Today, they received a letter explaining the system and their first daily checklist. The letter let them know that each completed checklist is worth 75 cents! We're not McDonald's and there are no unions dictating the required wage at our house. They can make $4.50 a week. They'll save some of that, give some of that and use the rest at their own discretion, i.e. pool food. I'm probably going to add in a few big ticket 'chores' along the way so they can have a little more cash in their pockets.

I made the checklists using a simple Excel spreadsheet that won't change much week to week. We'll loosely follow Clean Mama's cleaning schedule so their additional daily chores, other than unloading the dishwasher, cleaning their rooms and putting clean clothes away, will somewhat coincide with her plan. (Mondays - Bathrooms, Tuesdays - Vacuum, Wednesdays - Dusting, etc.) Since the schedules won't change, I can pretty much print all of their checklists out in advance. Of course, I can tweak as we go along.

Part of their daily activities include reading, writing and math. They are to read every day, which they pretty much do regardless of being told. JB will keep a reading log and the others will keep a log that includes a summary and unknown words lists. On Monday, Wednesday and Friday, they'll do some sort of math problems, either from old workbooks sitting around here or from some of the online math programs they still have access to. On Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, they'll all write some sort of entry in a journal. I had them all pull out half used notebooks from school to use as their summer journals. What else am I going to do with them?

Since today is the first day of this experiment at our house, 2 kids were super excited. One was practically in tears, probably because part of the rules include limiting time on kindles and watching TV! World rocked!! It's about 2:15pm and for the most part, their checklists are pretty much done. Some of their jobs can't be completed until after dinner. We'll have to work on time management going forward so they understand that the point of some of this is to keep them occupied throughout the day, not just the first hour of the day!

In an effort to help them with their tech-free times, their checklists include playing a game (forced brother sister bonding), spending 30 minutes in charge of Harper (free childcare - I learned a thing or two from faithfully watching 19 Kids and Counting), making something (color, draw, legos, etc.), and of course playing outside. Today I took JB and Harper to the playground and JB asked me if that counted as playing outside. These legalistic little monsters are going to keep this list to the letter!

I'll keep you posted on how this works. I'm the one who has to keep it going and to remember to give them their money each week.  A little quote has been floating around social media that says, "No one is more full of false hope than a mom with a new chore chart!" I happen to be very realistic about my endeavors with chore charts, systems, etc. I know they only work if I make them work, which is why I have avoided anything remotely related to a chore system in the past. It's not the kids. It's my follow through. If it fails, it's all on me! Today I'm full of false hope!

1/16/2016

Let It Begin With Me

I don't know about you, but I am often so discouraged by the attitudes of my children when it comes to things that aren't fair or that are hard or the why nots? Maybe it's just my house where these words are dared to be uttered from the mouths of babes who have never experienced a true hardship in their lives. Babes whose every second of the day is taken care of or provided for by their parents in some way or another. Sadly, I can see them buying into this whole entitlement attitude.


If you know me very intimately, you'll know that I am personally the most inconsistent person alive. I don't think that's much of an exaggeration. I am inconsistent in my attempts to eat well. A piece of chocolate in my path is like a squirrel to a dog. I am inconsistent in my attempts to exercise. I have said this year I am going to learn to love, well, at least I told Jake that one day. You know how many times I've run this year? 1...1 time I put on my new cold weather running gear and ran a  mile and a half at 7:30pm. Once! I'm inconsistent in my attempts to get my house clean, purged, organized and kept clean, purged and organized. I printed pages for a home organizing/calendar thing from Clean Mama and it's never made it into the binder, let alone followed even to a lower case S! (I obviously don't follow much to a T). I have managed to wash the sheets and towels 2 Saturdays in a row! I think that deserves a piece of chocolate, don't you?

So if I am this inconsistent with things that really shouldn't be that difficult, you can only imagine how inconsistent I am with my children! They are 'good' kids. I don't get discipline calls from the school or from their teachers at school. Even Harper fears having 'a moment,' aka time out! That's only because she consistently gets them at her school for not sharing or not refusing to put on a paint shirt or whatever her petty offense of the day is.

But at home, they are quite comfortable with voicing their opinions and questioning their parents' choices and decisions. Like today...We usually have donuts from breakfast on Saturdays, the only thing that happens consistently, but today we didn't get donuts. Honestly, I forgot until about 6pm last night. We decided we would do them on Monday since they're out of school for MLK day. Do you know how many times we have answered the question "Why aren't we getting donuts tomorrow?" and one little girl even had the gall to say this morning, "There's nothing for breakfast. I really want a donut." Come on, they're entitled to Saturday morning donuts, right? Unfortunately, donuts was just the tip of the iceberg today.

In my head, I am thinking over strategies or plans to help them understand the power of gratitude and to grasp just how many specific things and people and places for which they should be grateful. I read Ann Voskamp's 1000 Gifts last year and started inconsistently keeping a gratitude journal. I have done fairly well with it since the beginning of the year...thank you very much! I love how when I think about the good and not so good parts of my days or my life or my kids I realize just how good God is to us in the absolute mundane moments of our lives.

I've been thinking about practical ways to start my kids on their own gratitude journeys. I have dreams of Gratitude Jars and Gratitude Journals or of all of my children sitting quietly and listening to each other talk about the things they are grateful for, but let's be real! It may happen one day and not the next and then I'll be discouraged and throw in the towel. Baby steps, right, because remember I am totally inconsistent. So for now, to help my kids get started on their journey to thankfulness and to help them be specific in their thanks, I am giving each of the older 3 a copy of this Thankful A to Z printable from The Crafting Chicks. Hopefully this will help to jog their little brains about all the little blessings they have. Since we have a long weekend, it's the perfect time to start their lists! From there, we'll see what we can handle. I may hang a sign in my kitchen that says "Just say thank you" as a reminder that there are often no other words necessary! Too passive-aggressive?


Through reading Kristen Welch's book, Raising Grateful Kids, I have really been challenged to be intentional in training my kids to be aware of all they have to be thankful for. The reality is that when I become a grateful person and my kids see gratitude patterned in my own life, their understanding for gratitude will be deepened. It starts with me. I'm committed to this journey. I desperately want my kids to understand the value of people and things. They are going to mirror my attitudes so I need to keep my attitudes about things and people and time in check. They need to see me consistently expressing gratitude naturally as we go about our days.

What are your thoughts? Are your kids tipping toward entitlement attitudes? How can we better instill gratitude into our children? What do you do in your own home? And you should definitely read through Kristen's book.

This post is part of the Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World Blog Hop. Hop on over and read others' experiences in this journey to Raising Grateful Kids.
Inspiring an Attitude of Gratitude - by Alison
Rasisng Grateful Kids - by amanda
Why You Can't Buy Gratitude At The Dollar Store - by Andrea
Missing - Gratefulness in our home - by Ange
Choosing Gratitude - by Angela
Gratefullness - by chaley
5 Steps to Gratitude-Fille Family - by Christa
Practicing Grateful Parenting - by Dana
Sing a Song - by Hannah
Cultivating gratitude in our family - by Jamie
Gratefulness In Our Home - by Jana
Gratefulness In Our Home - by Jana
Let It Begin With Me - by Jen
Choosing Gratefulness - by Jennifer
Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World - The Book - by jeri
Eradicating Entitlement - What are you rooted in? - by Jessica
Gratefulness in our home - by Kate
The Problem With Entitlement is that it begins with us - by Katelyn
7 Unusual Ways I Know How to Be Grateful - by Kathryn
Raising Grateful Kids - by Keri
How My Children Remind Me to Pray with Gratitude - by Kishona
Grateful - by Kristy
Entitlement: The Ugly Truth of a Beautiful Lie - by Leigha
The Most Important Thing You Can Do To Raise Grateful Kids - by Lindsey
Dear Son: How Do I Teach You To Be Grateful Without Guilt? - by Marie Osborne
Gratitude, A Practical Definition - by Mia
Cultivating Gratitude in Our Home - by Nancy
Learning Gratitude through Chronic Illness - by Rachel
Being Grateful - by Rebecca
I've Found Something I Can't Live Without - by Sarah
The Power of Naming our Gifts - by Sarah
Outfitted - by Sarah Jo
Growing Gratitude in our Family - by Sondra
Teaching Gratefulness - by Stephanie
How Grateful Looks From Here - by Alison
Fighting Entitlement in Children and All of us - by Leah
Entitlement Problem - by Karrie
Grateful Today - by Krystal

12/25/2015

Merry, Merry Christmas

Christmas morning has come and gone. 
 All the preparations were made and totally undone in a matter of minutes. I was in the kitchen putting monkey bread in the oven and attempting to fix a cup of coffee and I could hear them rustling paper! Wait for your mother! This year there were no daily events. No Christmas countdown. We were too busy to keep up with that this year. Basketball is life has been the motto for the past 2 months, of course immediately following the 3 months of football is life!

The children woke up to this vast assortment of gifts that Santa left for them. Not quite sure how Santa got that kayak down the chimney, but no one seemed to question that. We are still enjoying their innocence when it comes to this whole Santa thing. One day they'll be smart enough to figure it all out or they'll have some punk kid at school spoil it all for them. Or I'm going to just slip, as I've done several times today, and admit that I bought all the gifts that were fab and worked great. That one gift that is missing a piece - that's all on this Santa guy.
The gifts are opened. Their faces are filled with smiles, at least temporarily. As with most things, the newness will wear off and they'll be the dreaded B word - - Bored! Today, I can't blame them much since it's pouring down rain outside and they're trapped inside.
Harper loves a microphone! Maybe she'll live up to her name and be the next musician of the bunch. I posted a little video of her singing a very non-Christmas song on FB earlier today. She's a ham!
 
These two have been more excited over a basketball goal that hangs on the door than anything else they opened. At least, it has kept them occupied for the longest today. I just hope the door survives the body slams it gets from these intense 1 on 1 contests. I keep asking everyone what that noise is and then I'm told it's someone playing basketball.
This one...She has had a Shopkins explosion kind of Christmas. What the heck are these Shopkins things and why are they all the rage? I do know I will spend the next few months of my life hunting them down - under furniture, in bags or boxes, or wherever she decides to misplace them! She's also been very interested in all of Harper's fun Doc McStuffins toys and various building block sets.
And this...a kayak! For months Mav Cole talked about wanting a kayak, probably because it was warm outside and some of the neighborhood kids were kayaking in the little lakes around our neighborhood. Then the kayak talk stopped and he started talking about drones and hover boards, which were an obvious not-gonna-happen! So we got him back on the kayak train. Deep down, I know that this kayak means I'm gonna be spending lots of time standing on the side of a lake hoping I don't have to rescue him or whoever is paddling at the time. It also means we'll be buying at least one more of these to minimize the it's not fairs and when is my turns? So kayak purchase, I mean Santa bringing a kayak, holds all kinds of new scenarios for us. Gonna have to work on saying YES, once the weather is warm enough to really enjoy this thing. 

All in all the kids have enjoyed Christmas. In the midst of the hustle and bustle, we do our best to remind them that Christmas isn't about the stuff. It's ultimately about the Christ child who came to earth on a not so silent night so that we could experience fullness in our lives here and forever. May we wake up every day aware of the miracle that was Christ's birth!

12/23/2015

Ignorance WAS Bliss!

I initially wrote this post in November, but never hit publish. I'm posting it now just for my own sake. 
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As many of my people know, my 10 year old boy child, Bailey, suffered a concussion in a football game a couple of weeks ago. Many have called, texted and FBed to see how he is currently doing. Some of you are probably wondering what the whole story to this thing is, and even if you're not, you're going to get it!

I'll start by saying it was the most miserable night at the football field. It was cold and rainy. I was soaking wet, had a huge bag of blankets, umbrellas and panchoes in a range of sizes and colors to help keep us dry and warm. - Us meaning me and the 6 and under crowd. What I didn't have enough of was snacks! Miss H was totally bored and crawling all over the place, escaping under the scary bleachers and just not entertain-able. To top it off - the 8U team - game number one of the evening - was getting killed by a team of giants! Huge big kids who were just knocking our poor little boys all over the place. Nothing fun or exciting about watching this game. Needless to say, by the time game #2 of the night started for Bailey, I was d-o-n-e! All I could think about was how much I could use a chocolate chip cookie or a margarita! Anything to wipe this night out of my mind!

So as the 10U game started and the 2nd set of giant opponents started slamming our players around the field and just blowing us out of the water, I decided to pack up all of our stuff and put it in the back of the van so when Jake got there, I could load up my little gang and be on my merry way! I momentarily had the thought of just leaving, knowing Jake was on the way, but something in my spirit made me feel like I couldn't just leave Bailey there without a parent. Turns out my spirit was right!

Moments before Jake arrived, as I was walking back toward the field so I could watch the game while we waited, I could tell there was some sort of commotion on the field. Our coach was standing in the middle of the field pointing out players on the other team that needed to be taken out of the game - since they were beating us 32-0. The opposing coaches, refs and city reps were not enforcing the mercy rule so our coach had to go make a spectacle to have it enforced. The other fans were getting loud and hurling all sorts of absurdities toward our coach and implying we were scared of their 200lb 10 year old! (This may be a slight exaggeration, but only slight!)Well, yeah, they were, sort of! Emotions from the other side of the field were at a seriously elevated level. This is all toward the beginning of the 3rd quarter.

I loaded up and left the game. Bailey had a parent there in case anything happened.

As I drove home, I couldn't stop thinking about this other team. Were these kids really 10? Would someone have turned in fake birth certificates? How fair is it for our 70 lb kids to be playing against these giants? How safe is this, really? The opposing fans were out of control and yelling personal insults at our coach and no one was doing anything about it? Remember, I'm wet, cold, frustrated and am still thinking about chocolate chip cookies to eat away the pain!

Some time toward the end of the 3rd quarter, Bailey was pursuing the ball carrier and was hit hard from sort of a side/back position, probably helmet to helmet. He was knocked off his feet, flat onto the field and possibly played another play afterward. Jake didn't see the specific play and I don't think he even realized he was in the game at the time. Bailey staggered off the field and one of the coaches realized something wasn't right with him. They had another dad who is a doctor look at him and then found Jake in the stands. Our head coach advised Jake that if Bailey was his son, he'd take him to the ER and have him checked out.

When I was about 2 miles from home I got a text from Jake saying he's taking Bailey to the ER with a possible concussion! What?!?  Of all nights! Suddenly I went from texting my fellow football mom friend with all of my woes and I'll be so glad when football is over to - Jake is taking Bailey to the ER for a possible concussion - please pray! It's like my perspective on the whole night changed in that one little text. From all of my selfish, can't wait for the pain to end thoughts,  to having to pray - He's Yours Lord. He's Your child. I trust You know what's best for him, Jesus. And this is definitely not the way I wanted the season to end for Bailey. He had been so tough and resilient and fought his way up the depth chart. He had developed such great camaraderie with his teammates.

The local children's ER did  a CT scan and put him through all the typical concussion protocol - What's your name? What's your birthday? Count backwards from 100-1 by 5s, etc. He failed all those little assessments and they determined that he did indeed have a concussion. A few minutes later, a doctor came in and told Jake that they had contacted transport to have him taken down to Birmingham. If the weather had been good, a Care Flight helicopter would have taken him, but since it was rainy and windy, the doctor needed Jake's permission to put him in an ambulance. Hold the phone! Back up! Quickly this thing escalated from a simple concussion to something that seemed much more serious.

Turns out, the CT scan showed a place on his brain that looked like bleeding, swelling or bruising so they referred him to a pediatric neurologist at the Children's Hospital in Birmingham. The neurologist saw him a few hours later. Bailey never threw up and was eating well at the hospital so they decided to release him, optimistic that this place on his brain was nothing to be concerned about immediately. Quite honestly, the neurologist was convinced this particular spot on his brain had nothing to do with the concussion because helmet technology is so far advanced now and kids Bailey's age and size typically aren't able to hit hard enough to cause this kind of injury.

For a week we lived in this limbo of what is this place on his brain? Is it concussion related or not? Have we stumbled upon something that could be really major or is this nothing to be worried about?

He had an MRI done on November 5th and we met with the neurologist on November 9th. Based on the MRI, he determined that Bailey has some sort of a malformation on his brain. While we sat in the office, he spouted off a couple of different names of things it could be. I just sat there hoping I could remember something he said well enough to google it when I got back to the car! A group of doctors met together the following week to pinpoint what they thing the malformation is and if it requires immediate follow up or action.

His leaning is that it is a cavernous malformation (I had to google it to know exactly what he said.) and that it is nothing to be worried about because Bailey has never shown any signs of having a seizure or any sort of staring spells. It's possible this place has been there since birth and we've just never had any reason to know it's there. His is obviously asymptomatic. The current course of action is that Bailey will have an annual scan done to monitor whether this place grows, changes or multiplies.

He has been cleared from all of his concussion restrictions and has resumed normal physical activities again. However, I don't know that I will ever not be aware of my desire to protect his precious head from any sort of bump or bruise. These are things I never thought of 2 months ago. Now I live with the knowledge he has some sort of malformation that's been there who knows how long and has never effected him. The problem now is I know it's there!

We are all so thankful for everyone who has held our hands, physically and figuratively, as we've walked this new road in our lives. We have never questioned God's faithfulness to us or His care and concern over the minutest details of a 10 year old's brain, and this particular 10 year old has a very peculiar brain!

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While we rarely even think or talk about his injury or malformation, when he fell in a basketball game a week ago and hit his head pretty hard on the floor I did have a tiny mother freak out moment.  As he laid there on the floor, obviously shaken up and in pain, I had to turn to Jake and ask if one of us should go and check on him. Being the good parents we are, we let his coach handle it! He was fine, but definitely has a new head injury awareness that stems from his concussion.